aquasilvercj's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- and all of these bastards have taken his place; he's forgotten, but not yet gone... I wrote a letter to someone, but I don't think I can send it. I could be a coward and send it to them via e-mail, just push the send button and wait with bated breath for them to answer. That's stupid. Anything you can't say in person, you should definitely not send in an e-mail. This may sound hypocritical, but so what, I'm learning. I really should be saying all of what I want to say in person, but I don't know how I can do that. I have more patience than I used to, but it simply isn't convenient. So I wrote a letter. I wrote it in the book of thoughts I swore I'd never let anyone read. And I haven't. No one's read anything with their own eyes. I've sent bits of it to some people, but it's not the same. Sometimes I write down conversations I've had; the people with whom I've had the conversation might say, "HA! I know what's going on now!", but you don't, because the conversations don't always mean a lot without the commentary below. It's like reviewing a movie. Sort of. So, I don't know if I'll send the letter or not. It feels like I've lost a friend. The letter started out as an apology, then twisted its way into something else, then reformed into the apology. Because I really am sorry for some things I've done. Nothing that needs to be written down here. I'm sure if you know me, and if you know this person, then you may have some idea. Damn you, guilt. I have the guilt of America on my shoulders, but I'm just one girl. Pollution, terrorism, the slaughter of hundreds of nations, the killing, the lies, it wasn't all me, it was the people that have come before me. Yet I'm still responsible for their actions, in some corner of my mind. I didn't do it, it wasn't me, I didn't, we wouldn't have, not. I can't let this go without saying that I'm actually very happy. Despite all that I've just said, I know I will dream sweetly tonight. te amo 3:43 a.m. - July 19, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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