aquasilvercj's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- \" My boss actually just paged me because his computer was only typing in capital letters. I shit you not.\" The wrong way to start the day. Walking down Mission Street just in time to see a trio of pigeons feasting on a pile of vomit in front of a bar. I almost went right back home. It was traumatizing. - tyger@lowbrow.com Grocery clerk entry #9: Yesterday, the biggest, meanest looking man I have ever seen in my life came through my register line. Easily a bouncer, bodyguard or professional wrestler. Six and a half feet tall, 300 lbs, head totally shaved except for a goattee, tattoos of bulldogs on each shoulder. He bought 10 packages of cat treats. Funny, I would have never pegged him as a cat person. my boyfriend of two years just dumped me because i wasnt sympathetic enough that his favorite band is breaking up.
last time i was there, i headed for the dressing room, arms full of clothes to try on, and noticed the following sign: "THIS IS A DRESSING ROOM. NOT A BATHROOM. IF WE CATCH PEOPLE USING IT LIKE A BATHROOM AGAIN, IT WILL BE CLOSED FOR GOOD." so we were on holiday at a cabin in the mountains. my little brother walks in (he was about 4) and he's chewin on something. my mum asks him what it is, and he replies that he found some chocolate. "there's a whole lot out there" he says. so we go outside and he shows us...and it turns out that what he thought was chocolate is in fact rabit shit-balls. I was raging drunk after a night of taking shots of Bacardi 151 in my dorm room. In my intoxicated frenzy I demonstrated to my friends how one could go about breathing fire with a swig of the highly potent(and highly flammable) spirit. The first time I did it, they seemed pretty impressed. The second time around they were peering out of the second story window I had just fallen out of, after having set my hands on fire. LOWBROW.COM = GOLD COMEDY. 2:30 a.m. - October 10, 2005 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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