aquasilvercj's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- lowbrow.com, more It was the break between high school and university and I had been drinking all night. I woke up around 8am with the usual predicament of urgently needing to take a slash. After realising someone was showering in the only bathroom, I made a beeline for the front door. Clumsily making my way through the survivors of the previous night's drinking laying scattered on the floor, and momentarily fumbling with the screen door lock, I was dangerously close to losing control of the situation. I was a man driven, and had no time to take in my surroundings. Upon bursting from the door, I immediately grasped the closest telegraph pole like a long lost lover and burst forth with a stream of urine that freed both my spirit and my soul. At this point my stomach suddenly turned, and my athletic sprint to the door caught up with me. Discomfort turned to nausea, and nausea turned into painful dry retching. So there I am, dry retching against a telegraph pole, all the while urinating and each time I retch my abdominal muscles and forcing the urine out in a pulsing jet, spraying back against me and into oncoming traffic. Yes that's right, this was next to a six lane arterial road, currently abuzz with monday morning commuters. When the fierce rage of my predicament finally subsided I had time to notice that everyone had come out to see what inhuman display was raising so many car horns in proud salute, and hear the gentle sound of children's laughter as they waited for their schoolbus mere metres away. It was the greatest moment of my life. XxXxX *!* THIS ONE ALSO IS GRAND *!* XxXxX yet another puke story, no shit there i am, in a nice chinese place at myrtle beach. i can puke on purpose sometimes without a lot of fanfare and im leaning over to kindof just let some puke go on my buddy's plate, i know it sounds gross but you just have to understand that we think this is funny, and we were drunk. he notices me leaning over and knowing me, says "Nice Dude!" all hell breaks loose. i feel a laugh boiling up right behind the general tso's chicken, i clench my teeth but to no avail, it only has the thumb-over-the-hose effect and i spray my goods all over about six people sitting at the table. i think i can die happy now. I feel so deliciously evil, laughing at these. 7:44 p.m. - October 20, 2005 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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